Archive for August, 2009

I came across one of these videos a couple weeks ago and about died laughing my personal jail aka my cubicle.   This dude is straight hilarious and he be dropping some street knowledge.   Now ya boy Darkne$$ came up in the hood around section 8, food stamps, lil debbies and utilities getting cut-off… so I could have used this information growing up.  But peep two of the videos below which are part of a series called Butteryass Mondays.  These vids can be found on YouTube or on TheBerrics.com.  Shout out to the peeps over there. 

Butteryass Week

Hahaha…now was this video educational or what?  Tell me you just didn’t learn something and have some techniques added to your hustle game.   My man just told you how to steo your scrill game up over the course of a week in order to have a semi-balla weekend.  Yo if you have a dollar store near you then please take advantage of it.   The dollar store is gods gift to the scrilla impaired.  Now peep out the second video which screams of absurdness.

Butteryass Suspect Samich

When  I saw this I was literally laughing out loud like Will Ferrell was doing stand up in my cube.  This is exactly what we here at ATI would define as IGNANT.  First off, buying a sandwich from the liquor store…ignant.  Deconstructing said sandwich, microwaving the meat, icing the cheese, and warming the bread…ignant.  Making hot chocolate out of coffee creamer and flavoring…ignant.   HAHAHA all I know is that I am a fan of Butteryass Mondays and I suggest you get on board. 

Darkne$$ aka Egregious Philbin

Pimp Nasty Funky CH..Pimp

Posted: August 29, 2009 by Grits N Gravy in Generic Banter
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We at ATI are not into simply finding ridiculous videos, pictures, and stories and showing them to all our followers because we’re haters. We only hate on things that truly need to be hated on, skinny jeans and racists for example. Our MISSION is to bring you all that is nonsensical, ignant, and preposterous. We take pride in it…because for as much as we criticize, laugh at, and make fun of the ignance; we are all deeply ingrained in the nonsense that surrounds us. Recognizing it is half the battle, the other half is bringing that nonsense to the world…one post at a time.
grits_n_gravy5

Now I was put on to this video a couple years back, long before my chocolate brethren and I decided to make this haven for nonsense, goonery, and ignance. It features a man who embodies everything that this blog is all about. When watching the video it’s imparative to recognize that this man exists in a fictional state of existence that few of us will ever experience. I’m sure you could go live on the street, pound smirnoff, eat hot dogs, and entertain rich southern college kids and get a pretty good idea of what that fictional state of existence feels like…but I’ll just watch my man Willie James Huff..

VID LANGUAGE NSFW
I would list all of the great quotes but the video has done it already. Enjoy.

I’m proud to say that I’ve got a little Allah Rackball in me…do you?

Grits and Gravy…Saint Louis Missouri

Sir, you can’t do that….

Posted: August 28, 2009 by REASON in You're Better Than That
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I’m not the biggest movie buff, in fact most movies leave me wanting my $11.50 back (NY Movies = Scrill Passion). But Something that really bothers me is Movie sequels that break the succession rule and try to act like they are the first movie of their kind. Two offenders of this that quickly come to mind are the Fast and the Furious and the Halloween series. This is the kind of nonsense we don’t like here at ATI, non-comical ignance is not baller to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to say that every movie has to be named 2,3, and so on to distinguish them in proper sequence. In fact some of my favorite movies like the Matrix and Lord of the Rings  have unique titles for each successive movie. Also I’m a fan of the Batmans which follow no particular order at all, but for the most part are decent flicks.

My issue with the aforementioned rule breakers is that they follow the said criteria and then Break off for no apparent reason, please see below:

  • The Fast and the Furious (2001 film)
  • 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
  • The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
  • Fast & Furious (2009)
  • 1. Halloween (1978)
    2. Halloween II (1981)
    3. Halloween III
    4. Halloween 4
    5. Halloween 5
    6. Halloween 6
    7. Halloween H20
    8. Resurrection
    9.
    Halloween
    (2007)
    10. Halloween II (2009)

    As you can see the makers of  Halloween felt the need to be excessively egregious with breaking this rule. This is riduculous,  Halloween II REALLY? It’s literally the 10th movie. They could have at least taken the Batman route and had differnt titles for each.

    Net net you just can’t be doing this. If you had a bunch of kids and named them all the same exact name you have to follow some form of convention. You can’t name the last one Jr. and the 2nd one the IV. LG, folks in the film industry you’re better than that.

    The answer is obvious…he’s the man who brought you that smooth soulful jam that has been poppin off at house parties, clubs, and late night jump offs for more than a decade. You know who I’m talkin about… the man that made it gangsta to sing about the touchy subject of sexual betrayal. None other than the British R&B sensation of the early 90s, Mark Morrison. Despite looking like DMX and Dishieke Bobajaytah’s Nigeran lovechild and having Rodman esque facial piercings, I salute Mark for his ignant career.
    rodmm

    Now “the mack” was singing, actually more like whining about how his girl had lied to him and whatnot…and how he had basically been completely played by his woman. You start to really feel for poor Mark when you listen to the song cuz it’s like, “damn he really loved this trick.. and he had no clue she was hopin’ on the D train over to beat street on the low.” Rarely will you find someone who actually knows the words in the verses, but everyone dancing to the song will undoubtedly have that painful scrunch look on their face…”Ohhh you dirty B why’d you do it to Mark” but you can’t stop dancin cuz the beat is so fire. Ohh and you’ll always hear people singing the backround parts on the chorus at the wrong times, but nobody cares cuz you know its coming eventually. “Come On!! (retuuuurn of the mack) Oh My GOD!! (you know that i’ll be back).” Despite the hardarche and pain caused by Mark’s generic trifling female, he returns stronger than ever as “The Mack” HAHA they even got Cleopatra to weigh in on the Mack in this classic vid I managed to find.

    But most importantly, in regards to Mark’s “Mack” status…the dude was as ignant as it gets. I can’t imagine being a brotha in England, but the issues he was getting into were just straight up N-ish… First of all, my man Mark only got into recording cuz he was in the pen for “causing an incident at a club” Now that could mean anything from pulling out a 9 mil just to show a curious futbol talking chap, using the butt of that 9 mil to pistol whip that chap for being inherently racist, groping a young lady at the club, or all of the above. Regardless, the mack was born in jail. Next, homeboy tries to bring a tazor on an airplane…LG!!! I’m all for having yourself protected but the security is probably pretty tight on British Airways homie. Ok ok, so Mark gets some community service for the whole tazor deal, and what does he do?? he sends a FAKE Mark Morrison to do the community service. The 3:30 mark of the video describes his reasoning for sending the fake, UNREAL. Dude says, “It HAD to be done” “I made an effort to do those hours, I did like…30% of those hours” IGNANT If you don’t plan on doing it already, get in a small Mark Morrison tribute today with a couple of his hits…It’s a small salute to his mediocre but ignant career, and if nothing else it will get your booty cheeks poppin on this friday!

    Grits and Gravy aka the crowned prince of Nonsense

    P-Droppa Friday

    Posted: August 28, 2009 by Cleotus Jenkins aka the Slow Stroka in Musical Knowledge
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    Yes sirrr. It’s that time again. I got a smooth R&B joint for that azz. This week we have “I Like It” from DeBarge. DeBarge was a Motown group from the early 80’s. This particular song was sampled by Mase, Nelly and Warren G.

    I should despise this group. They’re the ones that put light skinned brothas on the map. The dark chocolate boys were holding it down for a few centuries before DeBarge came around. We’ve been trying for years to reclaim the throne. Bobby Brown was supposed to save us but he got served by that dope. Tevin Campbell fell off. Seal had an epic failing. And what the hell happened to Brian McKnight? BET needs to air a Dark Skinned Idol.

    If we’re posting all the different ways black people can make nice respectable black men like the ones who post on this site look bad, well I’ve got another one for you. There’s been a lot on the internet about Stephon Marbury lately, the man is clearly insane.  But this video is from a while ago and Stephon is trying to come correct…but he fails. The first half he talks basketball, and he sounds bad. The 2nd half he talks about things off the court, and he sounds worse.

    I’m sorry to clown a dude who’s trying to do something good for the community, but mannnnnnnn I couldn’t pass up this opportunity.

    Things he actually says:”I’ma average 10 points, 12 13 dimes, 2 3 assists”. For those who don’t know basketball, a dime IS an assist. “I can’t give them what they need if they don’t have it” THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE. Then he gets a phone call, mind you he’s in the middle of an interview, and he lets off this gem after he takes it out and checks who’s calling “Thats my better half, my better hoe, thats my better half, thats my wife”. Cheeze its, YOU CAN’T DO THAT.

    If you didn’t have it in you to watch the whole thing, skip to 8:42, its a must see. Starbury just starts doing some ridiculous dance move, I can’t even begin to explain it in words.  The dude doing the interview was just shocked and appalled. He definitely had a good laugh when the camera’s went off.

    Logic

    PS sweet pink sports coat, but I guess it’s better than pink pants(service)

    Hot Sauce In My Bagggggg

    Posted: August 27, 2009 by Logic in Throw Your Beer
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    I love Fried Chicken, no not because I’m black  but because fried chicken is delicious. I challenge you to name one person who doesn’t like fried chicken.  But there ain’t no fried chicken on this planet that’ll get ya boy Logic to wait in a drive through line for 18 minutes. Nope just not happening.  Well Delonte West feels differently, he’s actually so happy to be in line for 18 minutes that he starts freestyling:(note skip to about 1:25 and listen to 1:50, the whole thing is great but those 25 seconds are priceless)

    Yea. That. Just. Happened. But in case you didn’t hear him, let me give you some of those lyrics.

    “And them apple pies macaroni cheese. Rasberry what? Ice teaaaaaaaa. Got that big jug, check my mug, Check my swag. Put the hot sauce in my bag. Hot sauce in my bag. Hot sauce in my bag. Hot sauce in my baaaggggg”

    Best part is that dude being Delonte’s Hype man and hitting him with those Jeezyesque adlibs. Dude must really think Delonte is killin it. Extra Extra Extra Extra…that may be the best part of the video.  He makes a good point though, places be skimpin on how much hot sauce or whatever you like to put on your food. I mean hell, McDonald’s charges you a dime for extra sweet and sour(yes i wrote the post why america is fat, yes i just admitted to going to mcdonalds, yes i’ve gone once this calendar year, no i’m not fat). I know its a recession(Reason’s favorite line), but damnnnn

    D West even hits that new new the rap sing(aka the kid cudi special)too. It’s official, D West: Throw Your Beer. It’s ok though, you can grab a new neck tat first.

    m148330541Obama=2 Steps Forward. Hot Sauce in my bag=2 Steps Back

    Logic