Archive for October 21, 2009

Grits and Gravy again, hungry for answers and clarification in this ever ignant world. As you may have deduced from the title of this post, the following is an examination of my D-less counterparts. I’ll start by saying there are few things like the company of a nice young lady, no decadence…and in some cases we men even chose to be exclusive with one of these young ladies, depending on several important factors that contribute to your overall persona. Now…to the real focus of my confusion…a question to women that has been driving men to the stab for years…Why do you make it so difficult to to get in there when WE KNOW YOU WANT THE SAME THING!?

My man and king of ignance, logic, and reason Dave Chappelle adresses the subject quite nicely…

Now even the ladies out there cannot deny this logic..(Dave’s white person voice is priceless as always). It’s so much easier if you girls just made sense. Now, I am not dumb, in fact I am very well educated, and I believe it is very safe to assume that males and females are wired very differently. However, I firmly intend that in certain situations we desire the same fundamental thing. I think Lil Webbie said it the best when he dropped the line “you know you want it girl don’t act like you don’t want it girl I want it just as bad as you do.” Now while I am in no way, shape, or form endorsing Lil Webbie, but in this particular case he is sitting some knowledge.

Now I can already hear the ladies…”Grits…I’m not tryna look all fast.” “Grits..I ain’t no hoe.” “Grits…I don’t know if you got something and might give it to me, especially cuz I know you messed with dude’s cousin who definately got something from that time she as on vacation in Miami and messed with Clinton Portis, and half of the Dolphins D line…” Well maybe that last one was a stretch, but calm down ladies. I promise you that dudes won’t think of you as a hoe if there is a shared “understanding.” In fact, they may even respect you more. I understand the whole idea of wanting what you can’t have, and I respect it…but we know what you are all about when you tell us no… then send us a pix message like this after we both leave the bar.pix

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You know this goes fellas, you’ll most likely get this pix message while you and your boys are at the late night eatery, enjoying your late night body rudenning experience.  Obviously if you have the energy and more importantly if said girl motivates you enough to go home and brush your teeth…you will do your best Fred Flinstone impression and make that bed rock.  In a lot of cases dudes are just too fed up to give into this type of scandalous, irritating behavior.  It’s a classic case of “Post Club Snipe Technique.”  Effective PCST is usually devastating to males…but what it really does is guarentee the female safety from other female ridicule.  If your girls, or other random skeezers saw you leave the club with a dude you aren’t dating…they make assumptions.  Sad, but true.  Men usually care very little about these assumptions, which is a good mindset to have because who cares what other people think…YOU ARE GOING TO BEAT STREET. (see below)beat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I could go on, but won’t because I feel that our female readers get the picture. Live your life, get you some. That being said…from all of us at ATI, we don’t love them hoes(usually).

Spitting Knowledge hotter than grama’s grits,

G&G

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Don’t get it twisted, your boy Logic doesn’t have a sense of self entitlement, its nothing like that. But sometimes I honestly think a higher power has people do things just to make me laugh. Like he/she comes up with an idea, then says “Yea, Logic will laugh at this”, then he/she makes them do it. Crazy, yes I know.  But just look at this blog and all of the ridiculous things that people are doing that make literally ZERO sense.  What other purpose could there be? Well here’s the latest nonsensical thing that has lowered my passion by 1,000 passion points(unfortunate because my passion is still at 39487393848 so I’m still being blown out worse than the Titans vs. Patriots. Anything helps though): Cuddleparty.com

cplogo3

Yup, CuddleParty.com. Damn, some people were not hugged enough as children.  Do people actually do things like that? I feel like this must be one big joke on me that my friends are playing, like how Cleotus is just going to sit us down one day and say “look guys, this isn’t really me” because there’s no way he’s not a fictional character.  Then, once I make this post they’re going to start laughing like ahhhhhhh we got you, we made a website and everything.  There are two flaws in that logic, one my friends are lazy and two I doubt someone could make this up if they tried.  Here are the cuddle party rules, besides the rule will be a comment of mine:

  1. Pajamas stay on the whole time. – Call me crazy, but I doubt many of the females here have an area code with a third digit above a 5(see glossary of terms for area code description). So this may be a great rule
  2. You don’t have to cuddle anyone at a Cuddle Party, ever.- This is to avoid creeps, because of course there would only be one or two, not a ROOM full or anything. Because normal people are definitely going to these things.
  3. You must ask permission and receive a verbal YES before you touch anyone. (Be as specific in your request as you can.) – NO MEANS NO.
  4. If you’re a yes, say YES. If you’re a no, say NO.  – See Above
  5. If you’re a maybe, say NO. – See Below notokayshirtClassy Shirt
  6. You are encouraged to change your mind anytime you want. – Feel free to pull a Brett Favre and say No right after you say yes
  7. Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner. – The fact they used the word “relationship” is a joke. So there used to be F$&% buddies, now there’s cuddle buddies? For every step forward, this country takes one back.
  8. Get your Cuddle Lifeguard On Duty or Cuddle Caddy if you have a question or concern or need assistance with anything during the Cuddle Party. – I’m llol’ing(literally laughing out loud) at this one, so many things wrong.
  9. Tears and laughter are both welcome. – I would be full of tears because I’d be laughing so hard if I saw one of these
  10. Respect people’s privacy when sharing about Cuddle Parties and do not gossip. – Gossip should be the last thing on these people’s minds.
  11. Arrive on time. – Looks like Hotdogs will never be allowed into a cuddle party because the man is never on time(tast)
  12. Be hygienically savvy. – The fact that you need to mention this says a lot about the people attending

Twelve rules for a cuddle party, there are less rules in an NBA game and probably less violations in a basketball game too. Lezbehonest, this is a lawsuit waiting to happen. You better have d’Oliveira and Morgan on speed dial.  You’d be lying to yourself if you don’t think there are a bunch fo 40 year old virgins going to these things

40-year-old_virginYea, a room full of this dude in male and female form. Is that a place you want to be? I know I don’t

Logic, but you can call me Mr. AKA