Archive for October 22, 2009

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan…look at all these buckwheats juking and jiving around about some damn McDonald’s.

You think Dr. King died for us to have the freedom to be putting on a ig’nant ass show for people to say “damn black folks are at it again”.  Wow… I mean I know McDonald’s is trying to subliminally coax black folks into eating their delicious nuggets, fries, and burgers with their commercials but why must we help them.  I mean they are doing just fine by themselves.  Check it out:

Wow I mean this looks like a pretty well off nice african american family.  But of course they sit down to a nice meal of not Beef Wellington or Lobster Tails…noooooooo they get out the fine china for some Mickey D’s!!!  REALLY McDONALDS!  Black people don’t need to put a beat to everything we do.  Yea we enjoy music on most occasions to fight the passion of being at work, cleaning the house, or being bored.  Music even enhances the love-making experience (I know all y’all got that “Freaky Mix” with Marvin,  Isleys, Teddy P, and others).   But our youth don’t eat to the cha cha slide.  As a matter of fact…that scenario would have played out very differently in normal black households.  That little boy would have got knocked up side his head and told to sit his lil bad ass down before he gets knocked into next week.  Ya heard!  No one has a nice sit down dinner of McDonald’s.  If you have McD’s for dinner it’s because you didn’t have time to cook and people grab their food and go back to whatever they were doing.  Peep example number 2:

That’s right…I know you all recognized this little diddy.  The  McDonald’s R&B joint with what looks to be the guy from One on One…Flex Washington??? FLADAP!  Granted there was great hilarity after first seeing this.  But after further review I started wondering…WHAT THE HELL!   What is MacDonald’s trying to say about black folks?   We are in love with chicken? That we sneak around eating chicken behind our lovers backs?   Buck my Salls McD’s.   I know most black people are genetically predisposed to liking chicken but do you need to exploit it?  I don’t see you making a country commercial where the person is singing “You can steal my only pickup truck, you can kick my dog in his butt, those things I can forgetttttt,  Dont you take my last nuggettttttttt!” HAHAHA.  Yea don’t see you doing that…but you think it’s cool to get at black people with obvious stereotypes!  I’ll never eat at ig’nant ass McDonald’s again!

You know I be playin McDonalds…you know I loves you!  What can I say I love those golden lil nuggets! I’m going to get some right now.  Game Blouses!

Darkne$$ aka Soulja’s Crystals aka Coffee Black

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A WAY TO DEFEAT PASSION

Posted: October 22, 2009 by Cleotus Jenkins aka the Slow Stroka in Generic Banter, Great Moments In Passion History
Tags: , , ,

sike!

Everyone knows you can’t defeat Passion, but I’ve “found” a new weapon to use for this ongoing battle.

Now I’m on my grind everyday at my job. It’s highly stressful and passion filled. I know every excel formula and function. It’s terrible. This morning was so bad that I just needed a 10-15 minute break to get my mind right and not flip out on these people. What did I do? Oh I loaded up on raisin bran and waited for it to be digested (step ya fiber game up). Let me tell you, there’s nothing like going to the bathroom and dropping heat for a solid 15 minutes.

HEAT

It’s even better when that handicap stall is open and you can stretch out while doing work. Why 10-15 minutes you ask? Oh that’s because you can’t be spending 20+ minutes in the john. That’s just trifling and I think you can develop hemorrhoids. Also, you don’t want those fumes seeping into your new Brooks Brothers shirt (NON-IRON). The only time it’s acceptable to spend that much time (or more) in the bathroom is when you are well tazed from the night before.

The only thing that could make the experience better is when you enter the stall and a previous user has left behind a 3-6 page article. OHHHHHHHHHH SWEEEEEET JESUS! That put a smile on ya boy’s face this morning. See, 3-6 pages is the perfect article length for work heat. Anything less than 3 pages is not long enough to occupy 15 minutes, especially if the font size is 12 or above. Any person that leaves a 1 page article should be caned with a bamboo stick. This tells me that you are not fully maximizing your break time. In my opinion, 3-6 page articles give you enough time to fully comprehend the main points of the article. Anything more than 6 pages will take too long to read and you may develop hemorrhoids. I’ve seen older guys head to the bathroom with paperback books. Not acceptable to be reading novels at work.  Oh yeah, the articles should be sports or rap related.

Hey ladies. Do yall drop heat at work?

Actually,  I don’t want to know.

-Cleotus

Yep, its that time…  Time to drop it in your drawls with some new music.  First up, several songs from the #6 Hottest MC In The Game right now according to MTV, Mr. Radric Davis:

Gucci Mane, Drake, & Sean Garrett – In My Business

Gucci Mane & Snoop Dogg – Party Animal

Big Boi ft. Gucci Mane – Shine Blockers

Now let me drop some new Young Mulllllaaa Baby:

Lil’ Wayne, Gudda Gudda, Mack Maine, And Nicki Minaj – Thinking To Myself

Timbaland ft. Drake – Say Something (Snippet)

And now for some new Jeezy:

Young Jeezy – Trap Or Die 2

Now let’s go hit up D.C. for a some new Wale joint:

(look at him with Lindsey Lohan; he’s coming up…I guess)

Wale ft. Colin Munroe – Bittersweet Life

Last but not least, something for my clubheads:

N.A.S.A ft. Kanye West, Santogold, & Lykee Li – Gifted

N.A.S.A ft. Kanye West, Santogold, & Lykee Li – Gifted (Tiesto Remix)

-Hotdogs Anderson aka Chicago Wind

What up peeps…Sir Darkne$$ hit you with that post the other day about Ed Lover’s YouTube videos entitled C’mon Son.  Well he is back with some more hot fire for that ass.  Here he is with the sixth video in the series:

Hahahaha…that part about the bubble boy Falcon was hilarious…”C’mon son…how you gonna be pullin everybody’s heart strings and not be in that ballon…I was choked up over the lil uggin”.  Falcon…watch out lil uggin because Ed Lover is coming to kick your ass!

If you watched the first five videos in the series then you can see the progression of these videos.  He went from looking like he was fresh off waking up from a night of booshkin to now having celebrity guest, intro music, and a website!  Pretty soon he’ll be on Fox in Primetime with a hour long show called “C’mon Son it’s Late” with Ed Lover.   I really enjoy these videos (NHND)…it’s like ig’nant TMZ.    They say the best inventions come from being lazy or annoyed.  It looks like Ed Lover has struck gold with being annoyed by ig’nant ass people.  Damn I’m lazy and annoyed all the time and I haven’t come up with a scrill passion eliminating invention yet.  Anyway…C’mon Son is a hit.  Pretty soon you are going to see this going mainstream on SNL with Obama talking about “C’mon Son…you didn’t vote for my health care?  Get the F outta here with that ish!”

Darkne$$ aka Scary Bradshaw