The Last Slice

Posted: October 30, 2009 by Logic in Generic Banter, You're Better Than That
Tags: , , ,

No, the title isn’t some witty analogy or anything, I literally want to talk about the last piece of food (pizza, cake, etc)

584277277_XiDDj-500x500.pngI’m not sure when this happened, but at some point (most likely post merger) taking the last piece became frowned upon in the work place.  It always goes the same way too, without fail. I’ve done extensive studies on this:

  • First person approaches the box/plate and see’s that there is one place left. This person looks around to see if they can get away without anyone noticing. Usually they can’t and will walk away empty handed, feeling like this on the inside:

chris-brown-sad-face

  • Next, two people will walk up at the same time. They exchange looks, then one person reluctantly says “you take it” to which the other replies “no, you take it”. This goes on for about 20 seconds, until they both concede and walk away.
  • The slice is now cooling down, getting old, and crusty and will probably get thrown away.

That is, unless Logic is around

boraaat

Just peep the peep the twitter post, your the kid has no shame. I’m the guy who watches the box closely while everyone is eating, and if there’s only one piece left I’ll go grab it even if I still have food on my plate. Now don’t get me wrong, I will make sure everyone has had their share, I’m not heartless (although some would tell you different).  But if its between me and someone else getting extra sustenance I’m going to put myself first. Some would call this selfish, I call it having your head on a swivel.  I work under the assumption that it’s going to get thrown away so who needs it more, me or the trash? The answer is me.

I was in this situation the other day. I went to a mentoring event at an inner city school and was sitting on panel answering questions about college (get your resume game up). They served pizza during the panel and the kids attacked the boxes with the most ferocity I’ve seen since the Accident of 08′.  So when I got of the panel, there wasn’t much pizza left. I got my one slice, and watched closely to see the progress of the pizza.  Eventually, there was one left.

lastslice

This piece was rightfully mine, I only had one. I got up, walked speedily to the box, and swooped on this last piece. I parlayed the pizza and couldn’t have been happier.  I got some looks yea, but was it worth it? Without a doubt.

Everyone, stop drinking the corporate kool aid and get your grub on, eating the last slice is ok, you will not be struck down by the office gods

Logic aka I can’t feel my face, the album. Dropping summer of 06.

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