There’s a reason they are called the Browns, because its the same color as doodoo

Posted: November 5, 2009 by Logic in Sports
Tags: , , , , ,

browns suck

I feel bad for Cleveland. It has been one of the hardest hit cities by the recession, the weather is miserable, the Cavs lost in the playoffs after being near perfect in the regular season, and the Indians have traded away two cy young winners in the past two years(who then faced off against each other in the world series). Nothing you can do about the weather, the Cavs are at least good, a new casino bill has been passed that should help the economy, and the Indians have been solid until this year. But the Browns? There is nothing good to say about the Browns. Honestly, I’m going to give you a minute, think about one good thing you can say about the Browns. Go




Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero. The uniform sucks, the team sucks, the stadium is perpetually cold, absolutely nothing is good.  Having lived in Cleveland now for about half a year, I’ve really experienced the misery of Browns fans from the inside.  Before, I just saw it through the disgruntled looks every Sunday night on Cleveland fan’s faces at school.


And that is who I feel bad for, the fans. They are loyal, passionate, devoted, but then they get this piece of crab team to cheer for. And now im in the heart of it, and its as ugly as a bubba sparxx song.  I listen to sports talk radio at work, its one of 5 ways to effectively fight passion, and the people who call into the local radio shows are either A)at a loss for words or B) angry. I wish I could find the audio of a guy who called in Sunday after the loss to the packers. No one picked up, but he left a message laced with F bombs. They played it multiple times Monday, it was awesome.  Can you blame them though? The Browns are 1-7. Yes, there are a few teams who are 1-7, 2-6, or even winless. The Browns though, they don’t even make games competitive, honestly.  I’m forced to watch the games here and I can barely make it through a half, their brand of football makes me sick to my stomach.  Even their 6-3 win was atrocious The best game this year was a LOSS to the Bengals 20-23 in overtime. They actually looked like they didn’t suck, although that was back before Braylon Edwards stole on Lebron’s boy and Lebron got him ran out of town.  Other than that, they habitually lose by double digits, that’s just embarrassing.


I didn’t want to do this, but week after week of uninspired football has forced my hand.  And Now that we’ve reached the bye week and the atrocity that is the cleveland browns football team have a chance to sit back and reflect on their failure season, its now time for us to look back on it as well.  I really didn’t want to, but I’ll bring be bring you a review of the “browns game” weekly in a piece that will be called History In The Making. Why is this the name? Because you may not realize this, but this team(specifically derek anderson)is epically bad. We honestly may be watching history in the making.  They may not go winless because of pure luck, but that doesn’t means they won’t set records for suck this season.  This is already a lengthy post, so for today I’m going to just hit on two things. The first of which, the head coach


Thats right, that is Eric Mangina Linguine Mangini hugging Brett Favre after the Vikings dittd in week one. Speaking of, did anyone see that Adrian Peterson run? Damn, that ish was serious.  I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest since the merger…MANGINI IS NOT A GOOD COACH. No one, except maybe…MAYBE Josh McDaniels, from the Belichick tree is a good coach. Belichick wouldn’t be a good coach if it wasn’t for this(post soon to come on this, a big F you to Mo Lewis).  Stop hiring people just because they were on the Patriots staff, they aren’t good coaches. I mean Browns, didn’t you juse FIRE Romeo Crennel, who was also an ex patriots coach.  A little common sense guy, don’t go from one bum to another. Dude got fired by the Jets because once he got his own players in and installed his own system they weren’t good. Should that not have been a red flag???? Not to mention some writer called Vagini Augustus Gloop. For those who don’t know thats the fat German kid from the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory(great movie). Cold, Ice cold. Now this:

derek_anderson_and_brady_quinnDerek Anderson and Brady Quinn. Probably the only two quaterbacks in the league who are worse than JaMarcus Russel. I mentioned in a post recently that Derek Anderson sucks. Point blank. Period. But think about this, Brady Quinn got benched for him, so whats that say? Now do I think Brady would be putting up historically bad numbers the way DA is? Absolutely not, DA makes Trent Edwards(currently in the UFL)look like a Franchise QB. Brady got benched because he would have reached incentives that would have given him 11Mil. Did he deserve it? Nope, but he’s still the best QB for the job and should have been playing. You can’t make an argument that Derek Anderson should be playing when…

DEREK ANDERSON IS WORSE THAN JAMARCUS RUSSELL. Yes, the same J Russ that people clown week in and week out. DA is WORSE  than him. Four words; That Is Not OK. In no way shape or form. I’m semi tazed, so recalling exact stats is a little difficult right now, but check his game log, dude had a 10.5 QB rating against the bears. He had a ZERO qb rating in the 2nd half against the bills, a game in which he completed 2 passes, and the entire offense has scored less touchdowns than the saints defense.


Let me say it again, The Saints defense has 6 TDs this season. The Browns have 5. The Saints already had their bye, the Browns bye is this week. That means in one less game, the Saints D has one MORE touchdown. Derek Anderson has 3 total TDs this year, so does Darren Sharper(pictured above). You know what, I’m done. This is making me nauseous.

Logic aka I have nothing clever to say the browns are just really really bad. I’ll be back with another Browns post after they get embarrassed by Ravens

  1. […] All I got, hopefully they get their drawls dropped so we can make a return to the good ol’ posts […]

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