Archive for January, 2010

P-Droppa Friday

Posted: January 29, 2010 by Cleotus Jenkins aka the Slow Stroka in Musical Knowledge, P-Droppa Friday
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Wuzzzzzzzup fam. I’m coming at ya late today. The man has a neeg in a fierce vice grip.

This week I’m bringing yall “Baby Baby Baby” by TLC. One of the main reasons for this one is for peeps to laugh at Jermaine Dupri making a cameo. Actually, this song is kind of tight. Chile is right up my alley. She could be one of my top money makers. 

R.I.P. Left Eye

-Cleo

Sorry ATI world for my lack of posting this week.  Been gettin it DIMD.

This man will offend about any race or culture to sell a damn mattress:

LG Gary.  Matter of fact, Ed Lover said it best:

I’m glad he didn’t try to get his Bamboozled on to try to sell a couple extra mattresses.  If he did I think a few of ATI’s finest would be taking a trip out to Van Nuys, CA looking for good ol’ Gary.  Some body better get the powder.

-Hotdogs Anderson

Gary Coleman Done Fell Off

Posted: January 27, 2010 by Cleotus Jenkins aka the Slow Stroka in Generic Banter
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Mighty mouse done went and got himself arrested again. This time for domestic abuse. But that’s all petty stuff when compared to his mug shot:

I know he is pint-sized but this guy looks two kinds of crazy. I am now scared of four things in this world: Jesus Christ, a gun pointed at me by someone from the N.O., my moms and Gary Coleman.

-Stroka

Get It Together Negro

Posted: January 27, 2010 by Cleotus Jenkins aka the Slow Stroka in Generic Banter, Sports
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Terrence Cody, of the University of Alabama fame, has clearly lost his mind. This guy has been causing havoc throughout the SEC this entire year. He’s a sure-fire first rounder in the upcoming NFL draft. Now I’m appalled after seeing this picture from the Senior Bowl today:

I mean is he serious with those breasts? I’ve heard about man boobs but those are straight up breasts. I know yall see the side breasts forming too. What about those two big ass hubcaps he’s using for nipples? Look like two aardvarks hanging from his shoulders. His facial expression says it all. He even knows his physique is trifling (ND). If you remove his neck and head, you would think that was a nude woman.

This is like a job interview for future NFLers. Your first chance to make a good impression and this is what he drops? NEGRO please get it together. He could’ve learned from former teammate Andre Smith last year. Andre was the butt of all jokes when he ran his 40 and looked like this:

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Look at all that jelly and jam. His breasts and stomach look like a Star Wars character. What are they serving in the dining hall in Alabama?

It doesn’t really matter because young Terrence is about to cop millions in a few months while I’ll be battling Printer Jam passion at the office.

-Cleo

P-Droppa Friday

Posted: January 22, 2010 by Cleotus Jenkins aka the Slow Stroka in Musical Knowledge, P-Droppa Friday
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Dizamn! I know I know. Ya boy is getting a late start on today/tonight? My apologies. Also, let me apologize on behalf of ATI for a quiet week. Work passion reared its ugly head and delivered a severe body blow.

Once again, we gots another light-skinned brotha to start the weekend off right. I know a lot of babies were made to “Whip Appeal” by Babyface. You know this joint is old. The video got Holly Robinson before she met Rodney. I can’t front, Babyface had the game on lock. He had to come with the tight lyrics because the name “Babyface” and that jheri curl flat top wasn’t going to get him any skeezers by themselves.

On a side note, the post below this one is f&ckin nasty. Hotdogs, you’ve clearly lost your ever-loving mind.

-Stroka

DISCLAIMER: Prepare yourself for a very wild rant on a touchy subject:  Dropping Heat in the Office Bathroom.

Yes, we know everyone does it.  Everyone has to drop heat at work.  Even you women.

It’s a normal occurrence.  Most of the time you drop twos at work because of your normal doodoo schedule.  Other times you’ve been hit with that IBS (not, Irritable Bowel Syndrome but the dreaded Immediate Bowl Sprayage).  IBS can be attributed to many things: spicy food from the night before, Indian food buffet at lunch, draft beer from the night before.  Actually any booze consumption from the night before; if you drank heavily the night before and you get into work at 8:30, you will be spraying bowl by 8:50, trust me.

But here’s my deal, why is it that in the office bathroom some people act like they are droppin’ twos at home?  I’m real secretive about my bathroom escapades at work (see the ninja to the left).  I try to time up my heat droppage to when I think no one is in the bathroom.  If I have to go around at time when I know people are there, I go up to a different floor and destroy some other company’s porcelain sanctuary.   I do the same if I know that its going one of those bad ones; you know the ones that make you flush 2 to 3 times due to “streakage” or left over turd nuggets on said bowl or the ones that smell so bad you think your insides are actually rotting.  But sometimes you have to do it when others are also in the bathroom, either taking a Wiz Khalifa, or droppin’ heat as well.  That’s when you should be practicing good office bathroom etiquette, ex. courtesy flushes, rapid fire release, and other things to help you keep it under 15 minutes as Cleotus said.

However, some people in the office decide to be the opposite of courteous.  They decide to be what I like to call Callous, Obnoxious Bowl Sprayers a.k.a. COBS.  COBS drop twos like they are at home, making it as loud and as smelly as they can.  Their farts sound as if they’ve been holding them 3.5 years, and they reverberate off the porcelain, stall walls and doors, and floor to hit your ears like a right hook from Tyson back in ’88.

If COBS’ ish is of the solid variety, the sound of their turds hitting the water sounds as if they are suspended 10-20 feet above the toilet and are dropping twos like a B52 drops bombs.  I’d be surprised if they bring an actual towel to the bathroom to dry off their cheeks from the water splashing back up.  If its of the liquid variety, get out as fast as you can.  If you can’t then the sounds you hear next can leave you scarred for life.  Imagine a jackhammer going to work on an old sidewalk.  Then mix what I like to call the “Machine Gun Funk,”  tommy gun sounding farts.  Add in some of the most foul smelling things you can think of, like old hot dog water getting re-boiled with cheetos, used baby diapers, pigs feet, a can of pork and beans, uncleaned chitlins, pork rinds, and a dead skunk carcass.  That’s what you get when these COBS drop liquid twos.

And it always seems to be some old CCA Managing Director.  He’s probably in there reading the whole Money and Investing section of WSJ, checking his Blackberry for emails about his CCA kids’ soccer practices, all while day dreaming about his seeing mistress at some Super 8 Motel.  How about this: get some Metamucil to increase your fiber intake and get your bowels regular, limit yourself to 15 minutes, mix in several courtesy flushes, stop cheating on your wife, and tell your kids to play football.

-Hotdogs Anderson

P-Droppa Friday

Posted: January 15, 2010 by Cleotus Jenkins aka the Slow Stroka in Musical Knowledge, P-Droppa Friday
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We’re kicking off the weekend on a somber note. I’m pouring out some Crown Royal to my uncle Teddy Pendergrass. Teddy along with EWF and Marvin Gaye were bringing those P-Droppa long before Ne-Yo and Lloyd. Many of us owe our very existence to Teddy’s music.

So let me give a huge R.I.P. to Uncle Teddy.

-Cleez