Archive for June 22, 2010

Darkne$$ is about to bless ATI with another weekly staple to go along with P Droppa Friday and ACOTW (yes we know we sometimes slack on ACOTW but we blessed you everyday last week so buck our salls).   MTK stands for Marry, Tap, or Kill. I’m sure all of you have played this game before but for all you Simple Jacks out there I will elaborate.  The rules are simple…someone throws out 3 names and you have to choose to marry, cuff, or kill each one.  But you can only conduct one act on one person.  If you don’t get it by now you are on the wrong blog ya dig.

Up first is the fine sexy ladies of former super group:

Destiny’s Child

I picked DC because who better to start off with than a group of ladies who are all beautiful and talented in their own way.   Sometimes Beyonce fits all three categories but as the rules state she can only be one.   So let’s start with Mrs. Hov….Beyonce.


Now like I said before sometime I want to marry Beyonce and sometime I want to kill her.   But this time around I want to just tap that arse!  Why you ask?  Because she is currently married to the multi-millionaire known as Jay-Z.  I’m hoping that in order to keep me quiet about be beating her cakes in the House of Dereon that she pays me a large sum of money to keep me quiet only for me to leak the story to TMZ anyway!  BIG PIMPIN SPENDING CHEESE!!!!  Not to mention I’d like to think that while B is a minx in the sheets she probably doesn’t have time to pop on a P Droppa and take care of bizness.  Also she’s probably realllllllly extra in bed like she is in real life.  She will probably be warming up her voice and endorsing products while it’s going down.  Can’t have that.  So I’d just like to sweat out her weave and be gone!

Up next is Kelly Rowland


I’ve always said that she is very underrated and under-appreciated  because of Beyonce.   Kelly is equally as beautiful as B they just are different types of beautiful.  Kelly still got money.   She’s getting Destiny’s child money and she has a decent single every now and then.   Not to mention she has an acting career also.  The difference between her and B is that she is not a mega star that doesn’t have time for ya boy Darkne$$.  I feel like she can go out and do a book signing, photo shoot, and read a script all before coming home and frying up some chicken.  After a nice sesh she’s headlining at the House of Blues.  My kind of woman.  All I gotta do is look  fly and flashy for the cameras and spend that dough. Call me Mr. Darkne$$ Rowland.  LOVE TO!

Lastly we have Michelle


While she is would be considered the least hot of the group she is still well smashable.   So why does poor Michelle have to die?  Well for starters she ain’t getting that  real Destiny’s Child money.  As you recall she came into the picture late after those other two broads were kicked out for getting too greedy.   So when she got there Kelly and B made sure their ish was locked up for life and threw Michelle the crumbs.  Secondly,  while many know of her, she is not a household name and your boy Darkne$$ only rocks name brand ya dig.    Can’t be braggin about dating the other DC member.  Lastly, she’s too quiet.  She never really spoke when  they would get an award or something.  Always in the background.   That means one of three things, she’s a a closet freak, she’s a really nice girl, or she is psycho!  Don’t really got the time to find out so… OFF WITH HER HEAD!

On the real…all of them are sexy and fine but someone has to die.   I’ll let them wrap things up with a lil lap dancing at the BET Awards.


Darkne$$ aka John D. Chocofeller