Sometimes you just feel like you are getting twurked throughout the day.  It could be your boss, a friend, an enemy, passion.  Whoever it is, sometimes you just gotta unleash some fury.

The chest kick is such a vicious form of accostment.  I know we at ATI have been partial to the powder slap, but a debate has surfaced lately in our high council that has brought some interesting information to the table. This banter was initiated thanks to the athletic ignance that Nigel De Jong gave us in the world cup. See Below:

An important question came out of the tear evoking, nonsensical banter. Is a kick to the chest the most disrespectful way to accost someone??  I don’t know, but damn I would hate to get just kicked in the chest.  NOBODY would enjoy that. Even in a martial arts competition, where kicks to the chest are the norm, the recipient still has to get up(maybe) wondering how the hell that could happen to him.  It would be a win for you to just get up and not writhe in the ground suffering in your pain and recent demotion to B***h status.

OHHHH HOO....OOOOHHH

If you catch a good one in the chest these feelings of pain and inadequacy can be coupled with humiliation after people hear the pitiful and desperate sounds you make while trying to find any air in your lungs. Kinda sounds like a middle aged lady falling on her chest from 6 feet in the air. Please skip to :15 for an example of this sound.

Now getting to the actual debate itself between the chest kick and open hand slap(this is all man v man combat, if you are getting accosted by a female period you need to excuse yourself from reading this post)…I’ll give you some insights the fellas were able to come up with.

Getting kicked/punched in the chest is on par with getting open hand slapped in the face. The sudden lost of breath is demoralizing.

Idk dude, open hand slap is sooo direspectful (especially man to man), while punch in the chest is more like “soning” someone

I think an open had slap is more decadent. Getting kicked in the chest is a sign of disrespect for the fact that you would even try that move. Unless you are in the profession of the martial arts you shouldn’t be kicking someone in the chest.

Making contact would require ninja like quickness coupled with very slow reflexes by the person getting kicked. I mean how slow do you have to be to not react to a another man coiling up his leg and kicking you square in the chest?

Other considered forms of accostment included spitting in the face, headlocking, or the leg sweep/trip. Going back to the quote about the reaction time and the coiling of the leg is something that can’t be overlooked. You’ve got to be some kind of unresponsive, unathletic fool to just straight up wait there while your foe arches his chest backwards, hinges his leg back via the knee joint, and then proceeds to strike your sternum with their size whatever. Getting kicked in the shoulder or the hip is so much easier to come back from. LG…you just can’t let those types of things happen. I mean, that’s why whenever you created players in video games you needed to have a 93+ awareness level.

At the same time, you can’t be getting slapped in the face either. While slapping may warrant immediate retaliation, the shock of getting slapped by another man may simply lead you to step up to him and ponder why you are inferior…without even getting physical back at him(NHND). Just ask Eddie House.

Damn…aw well, the debate continues. Leave a response or hit us up on twitter @allthingsignant and weigh on the the debate.

-Grits and Gravy

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Comments
  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by David Howard. David Howard said: RT @allthingsignant: New Post – Ohhh my Chest…: http://bit.ly/b0KUU0 […]

  2. Hotdogs Anderson says:

    at no point was he going for the ball. he lined him up, and shawn michaeled his chest. Should have been a red card, done and done.

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