Hand Down, Man Down.

Posted: June 15, 2011 by Grits N Gravy in Generic Banter
Tags: , , , , ,

“Grits and Gravy…killin the 2nd rate blog game right now, consistently playing both sides of the fence, battlin’ Passion, bringin’ heat when he can, and goin’ hard to the cup to get you through hump day…MAMA, THERE GO THAT MAN!”

That was actually a direct quote from Mark Jackson. The man clearly appreciates good banter. I appreciate the fact that he can bring educated ig’nance (guff, what?) to the court in the form of his NBA analysis. I actually am having a hard time in my daily life trying to not periodically exclaim, “MAMA THERE GOES THAT MAN” or “HAND DOWN MAN DOWN” whether it is appropriate or not. It may become a problem at some point. I’m cool with the president of my company, but I can’t just get up and yell “MAMA THERE GOES THAT MAN” when he strolls past my office to get some coffee can I? I mean even if he just chuckles and gives me the “I’m too rich to ask you what that means” look, he can’t feel comfortable with the fact that I am one of his employees. Similar inappropriate circumstance: If you’re a teacher and you call on the poor little sh@t who has his hand down, just because you want to humiliate him for not knowing the answer. “Manny, what’s 4X4??? Oh…judoknow? HAND DOWN MAN DOWN MANNY! IT’S 16! GET YOUR ARSE TO THE TUTOR!”

Basically I like the idea of giving a play by play to real life. If I could have Mark Jackson stroll behind me every day basically letting the people know all the cool ish I was doing, it would be pretty hilarious. Kind of like Cleotus’ personal midget that “pings” other employees around the office. Some scenarios might be strange, even though I would get a personal guff If Mark Jackson and Van Gundy waited outside the bathroom to give play by play to me doin’ work on the royal thrown….”Grits and Gravy…he had some loaded nachos earlier…2 hours later…in the bafroom…droppin it like its hot…he even brought the ESPN Magazine in there…MAMA… THERE GO THAT MAN!” My favorite is how at every commercial break in a game that he does, Mark will hit you with the recap of everything that happened. If Le’bron or Dirk or D Wade took over for that 4 minute segment of the game, he would basically hang from their nuts for a good 15 seconds leading into the commercial break. Like this clip about Kobe..

Guffaw, I mean I don’t care if you like the player or not…but Kobe can go watch this youtube video and basically sit back and be like Damn I guess I am a BAMF huh…If any normal Joe had a clip like this to go watch about himself it would solve the problem of depression in America. “Well Mark Jackson thinks I’m a bad man, he even told his mama about it…(sniff)…I guess I can step back from the ledge.” For people who already have really high self esteem, it would basically just reinforce how cool they think they are. Side public service announcement: F what you heard, and F what people think…If you are happy with yourself and think you are cool, you are…Right brotha?


There is too much Passion out there in the world to truly feel like your life is boring. I fancy myself quite the goon, but my lifestyle would only be supplemented by a personal reporter there to not only report the times when Passion is dropping it in my drawls, but when I’m really making plays. I guess my point is don’t be afraid to be your own commentator. Sure people may think you a bit strange, but eventually they will start to drink the Kool-Aid. If you decide to get some Post Work Casuals (PWCs) that somehow turn into PWA (Post Work Agressives), and you beat somebody in a chug, don’t be afraid to let out a “HAND DOWN. MAN DOWN” and bust the Dirk NBA Championship dance in their face.





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