So I’ve been hitting y’all with some old school joints for the summer, but don’t think I forgot about that new music. I’ll hit you with the old school post tomorrow but today we are sticking to that New New. DARKNE$$ and I were talking about what CDs we can’t wait for to drop. And who was first on our list, none other than Officer Ricky:
Please keep your glasses on Richard
We got to talking about Ricky Rozay because of how nice that Albert Anastasia mixtape was. Then we heard this joint:
Rick Ross ft. Kanye West – Live Fast, Die Young
Fiyahhhh. Then I heard this today:
Rick Ross ft. Drake and Chrisette Michelle – Aston Martin Music
(I’m sorry for the bad quality, but as the release date gets closer I’ll put up some better ve rsions)
Last but not least, I gotta drop this bit of Ig’nance:
Juvenile – Drop That Azz
Whenever you shake it you make a playa’ smile
But if I wonder if you can drop it hot potato style
What up ATI world? I was gonna drop a new Bun Bouncer in ya’ll drawls today, but sorry, that isn’t happening. While perusing the internets on the computer box, I stumbled across The Situation’s debut single entitled, you guessed it, “The Situation.”
No, No, No, NO. Get the cuff outta here with that ish. Let’s see what this song has to offer:
Unnecessary Autotune? Check
Fatman Scoop’s turrible ad libs? Check
Turrible Lyrics? Check
Beat from 2006? Check
Talkin’ about $85 cologne? Check
Worst chorus EVER? Check
The Situation having a song? Check
I think The Sitch is still a little mad of getting made fun of in high school:
Look at them bangs
Someone needs some ProActiv
Music industry, you’re better than that. There is noooo need for this joker to be in the biz. This song is officially ATI Disapproved:
Like me…I’m sure you’ve been taking down some LNRB while watching Fresh Prince at 3am when this commercial comes on.
This was my reaction when I saw it.
Upon the completion of my drunk guffaw I immediately tried to YouTube this to find the video. But then I realized I was too busy laughing to know what the hell the site was. So after failed attempts at Google’ing: annoying chick rapping, dancing and singing commercial, terrible lady singing about being stupid, and 3am commercial TV One…I gave up. To my surprise I was sitting watching Fresh Prince again this morning (Fresh Prince is a great show) and this commercial comes on! It turns out its about getting into college after you realize your are a failure. I was happy to find it and bring it to the attention of ATI.
This is a terrible yet hilarious commercial. I really feel bad for anyone who actually wants/needs to use the service of Education Connection. You probably should consider just taking the hint that you weren’t meant to go to college.
After watching this video a couple of times I really am annoyed with this broad. Your rap skills are wiggity wack. If anyone of our loyal followers runs into her please give her a swift kick to the back of the head…that’ll shut her up.
Before I get to the ACOTW once again props to Darkness, Hotdogs, and Cleotus for keeping up with posting. “Logic, does that mean your going to post more regularly?”. No, no it doesn’t.
Now, on to Tuesday’s edition of Area Code of the Week Week. I picked a bad day to do my ACOTW because Darkne$$ killed it. I let out several hearty guffaws while reading. If I’m posting, you know there’s gotta be a damn good reason. That reason, is this:
Ok ok, maybe thats not what she actually looks like…but its pretty damn close. South Park damn near committed an entire episode to clowning this chick and for good reason too, her show is made by the Devil. Dear Hollywood, please stop telling me that well below average/borderline ugly looking people are pretty/beautiful/sexy/gorgeous/etc because you often will get it completely wrong. See below:
Which one is the horse? I’ll give you a minute.
The one on the left right. That was the opposite of easy, I know. SJP does have quite a horse like quality about her so those two pictures kind of blend together. Time to get down to the nitty gritty right? Lets throw some numbers at her. We’ll go Face, Body, and end with the most controversial: Would you or won’t you?
What are you looking at Sarah? No seriously, what the hell are you looking at? That’s like a picture you see of someone on Facebook who isn’t looking at the camera because there are like 10 cameras taking pictures at the same time so you don’t know where to look. Hold on, is that her own perfume? Lovely? So she took this picture, and then allowed someone to put it in an add for her own perfume? Does she not realize she looks like in 9th grade biology day dreaming? People I don’t want my girlfriend to smell like: Sarah Jessica Parker. OK, that picture is definitely perhaps unfair. I may or may not have picked the worst picture I could find. OK, so here’s a better picture. I guess:
Yes, that is a good picture of her believe it or not. You know how I know that? Because I could have put up this one:
Served. Its amazing what a little fame makeup can do. We’ve bantered extensively about what exactly is a 1,2,3,4,etc when it comes to the face. Of course, this is objective and to each his own. Well SJP, consider yourself Logically served: Face=3
This is the only remote picture I could find of SJP’s “tail”. Tail isn’t really appropriate here, her long back with a crack is a much better description. J’s?
Where? At least she keeps it tight, that’s about all she’s got going for her because the rest of her body is scarily bony. Due to the fact that she has all her limbs and is not morbidly obese, she gets a 4 in the body department. Interesting note, the above picture is the best one I could find. That’s not a good sign…Now for the controversial part, would you or wouldn’t you?
1 or 0?
I think ol boy in the bottom right got that right. If you can’t read it, it says “sooooooooo not sexy”. There’s a problem when your famous and I can find more bad pictures of you than good ones. There’s a problem when South Park makes fun of you for how bad you look. There’s a problem when I look at your picture and immediately feel a sharp pain in my testicles.
Verdict? I spent more time looking at SJP while writing this post than I have my entire life given I’ve never been dumb enough to watch more than 5 minutes of Sex in the City (except for when you’re 12 and see the show is named Sex in the City, so you think your going to see boobs and instead you see four women of which only one is remotely attractive run around the city acting a fool setting an awful example for all younger women. Seriously, suck my balls, but don’t send SJP). Coincidentally, or not, I now think I need glasses. Congratulations Ms. Jessica Parker, you’re the first 0 in ATI’s ACOTW history.
Sarah Jessica Parker is ATI Dissaproved. Final Score: 304.
Some may disagree with the 0, but I don’t care. You’re wrong. Powder yourself. I’ll be back in a month or so.
What do you think:
Logic aka Women please stop watching Sex in the City, life doesn’t work like that. Well I guess unless you want to be 50 and unmarried, then watch away and emulate everything they do. I hate you Sex and the City. I truly despise you with a passion (read: passion, not Passion).
UPDATE – Upon reading this post, Cleotus said the following: “SJP invented erectile dysfunction.”. Nuff said