So I’m a little all over the place today, been getting it dropped off in my drawls at work this week. Consider me displeased.
- Alright, this is really grinding my gears. Why are AMERICANS so obsessed with the Royal Wedding? We do not have a King here. We do not have Queens. No Princes, Dukes, Princesses, Suchesses, etc. So why do people care so damn much about the Royal Wedding? Seriously? I mean do y’all not remember that England tried to drop it off in our colonial drawls in the 1770’s? Now we just let bygones be bygones? Nah playboi. Not me. I won’t even visit England. I hold grudges. So should every other red-blooded Amurican.
- Now I didn’t major in British Politics, but don’t they have a Prime Minister now? They aren’t even run by the Royal Family anymore are they? Assuming those statements are accurate, that makes this fetish that much more mind bottling (yes, I said bottling)
- If your obsessed, so be it. But do you really need to wake up at 3, 4am just to watch it? Take the day off from work and all that? Honestly? That’s guffable. I mean mix in a DVR and if you don’t have a DVR I’m pretty sure it’s not THAT big of an event. If I was a boss and someone came in tired as hell or called off from work they would return Monday and find feces on their chair and a note that says “You’re fired” with a picture of Donald Trump.
- The NFL Draft is tonight. Normally I’m all over the draft. But this year? NOPE(spoken like Lana from archer. Google it if you don’t know what sound bite I’m talking about. Its defeinitely guffers). This lockout has taken all excitement out of the draft for ya boy Logic. I honestly hope the owners get it dropped in their billion dollar drawls in all of these law suits.
- If the fans don’t boo Roger Goodell I will be mega disappointed. I’m really looking forward to a chorus of South Park related ginger hatred chants. Don’t let me down fans
- Speaking of Big Rog, I’d like to kick him in the chest. Which is not as disrespectful as a slap to the face but will inflict maximum bodily harm if executed properly. I will go to a karate dojo to perfect this strike and then use it on The Goodell. He’s cuffing with my football, and I do NOT like it
- Not sure if I’ve mentioned this previous but I’m a 49ers fan (guff). There’s talk of them drafting Blaine Gabbert. If they do you can all but guarantee a suicide bombing of their facilities before his entire name gets out of Mr. Roger’s mouth. Seriously, I had never heard of Blaine Gabbert until Andrew Luck said he was going back to school. Now he’s battling to be the top QB with Cam Newton (who also shouldn’t be picked high). It really bothers me that I could make better draft decisions than a majority of NFL GMs. Once again, my services are for sale. Why is no one taking me up on my offers?
- I did not research this in anyway but I will state it as fact: Cleveland is the record holder for A the most consecutive days with some amount of rain and 2 the overall worst weather. This is turrrrrrrble. I really can’t tell you the last time I saw the sun. August 2010?
Happy Draft Night, hopefully I get out of work in time to enjoy it
“Ish just got real like Pinocchio turds” – Gambino