Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

This is the Face of the man who will Teach You How To Dougie:

Well, I don’t know if I can call this the Dougie:

Yeah, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that is hands down the WORST Dougie of all time.  It was so bad, I’m going to call this the Douglas.  Needs to have full CCA name status.

Yes kind sir,  can you please Instruct Me How To Douglas?

-Hotdogs Anderson

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So there we are only 1.5 months into the 2010-2011 NBA season and Blake Griffin already has a Top 10 for Dunks.  This Blake Griffin?

No, this Blake Griffin:

Chicks Dig Tie-Dye

So let’s check the video:

Yeah, that was straight filth.  Blake Griffin is pretty honest to me.  He has Rookie of the Year written all over him (No John Amaechi), even though this would technically be his 2nd year in the league.  He didn’t play at all last year due to injury…kind of like Greg Oden’s rookie year.

Except Big Ol’ Greg can’t seem to stay injury free.  Did anyone notice that almost all of Blake’s dunks came against Detroit or New York.  Damn those teams are trash.  They looked like the really are afraid of defense.  That last dunk wasn’t even really a dunk but Mozgov got posterized so hard.  Wait, they even already made it into a poster:

Mozgov, feel free to pick up your drawls at the Devil’s Dry Cleaners.  Also, look ol’ dude to the left of the net;  his jaw dropped because he is so happy of the decadent hand to back of head placement during the dunk.  So is his “friend” to his left.

-Hotdogs Anderson

HBO’s hit comedy Eastbound and Down introduced us to the character Kenny Powers (played by Danny McBride)

If you’re not watching Eastbound and Down, you need to, ASAP.  Here’s a lil’ sample of Kenny’s best (language NSFW):

So Kenny is actually in the MLB and he is the closer for the San Francisco Giants.

Ok, I lied that’s actually not Kenny Powers.  It actually is the Giants closer, Brian Wilson.  He basically is Kenny Powers in real life (sans the cussing, plus the actual good pitching ).  Check out this interview on Rome is Burning:

This dude is absolutely hilarious.  How about some classic quotes:

Rome: “Last time I talked to you, and you’re on record, you’re a ceritified ninja.”  Wilson: “Correct Statement”  Rome “How long did that take, to become a certified ninja?”  Wilson: “I believe we discussed, it happened in a dream…it takes a life time, but only, I think, 12 minutes to complete the courses.”

Rome: “…the orange spikes, you get fined a thousand bucks, for orange spikes.  What was the fine for?  Wilson: “Having too much awesome on my feet.  Clearly that’s the reason.”

He also brought out the Zach Morris cell phone. Where in the hell did he find one of those.  That was great.  I could listen/watch interviews with him all the time (NoAubreyGraham).  On top of that, the dude is unhittable.  He had 48 saves and a 1.81 ERA during the season.  Oh yeah and his Giants are up 2-0 in the World Series.

-Hotdogs Anderson

In case y’all missed it, SNL went Stoopid McNoogle hard on Brett Favre on Saturday night: Vodpod videos no longer available.

Ha.  That is great.  Best line was definitely “Look, I put my pants on just like anyone else, one leg at a time…then I pull my penis out.”  GUFFAW.

I wonder what Brett was thinking about this sketch?

 

Why did I have to send those?

-Hotdogs Anderson

 

 

So its Monday, and I wanted to let everyone know I had a great weekend.

NOT

Lets Get a quick recap:

  • Friday: Living in NYC area/”Manford, CT”  for the past 3 years, I have become a pretty big Yankees fan.  Well their season ended by the hands/bats/pitching arms of the Rangers on Friday
  • Saturday: For the 3rd straight week, the #1 team in the Nation fell away from home (this time the Sooners), ND got crushed, but the worst thing for me is that, as a huge fan of MMA, Brock Lesnar got absolutely manhandled by a smaller man, Cain Velasquez, for the UFC Heavyweight title Saturday Night
  • Sunday: The Chicago Bears lose again, with Cutler throwing four INTs to only Deangelo Hall.    It made me feel like Cutler did against the Giants:

So after all of that this weekend, guess what day it is today???

Yep, Passion is going to chokehold the ish out of me today.  And it won’t get any better because, as we all know, Tuesday Passion is even worse than Monday Passion:

OHHH, this would be really bad

Just. Have. To. Survive.

-Hotdogs Anderson

Ohhh this uggin Deion Sanders doesn’t take ish from anyone!!!

So Steve Mariucci decides to vote “Prime Time” #34 on the list of the Top 100 NFL players of all time.  Deion did not agree with that number.  And I wouldn’t either if i were him; just take a look at his stats:

  • 52 INTs for 1,331 yards (a 25.1 yards per return average)
  • 155 kickoffs returned for 3,523 yards
  • 212 punt returns for 2,199 yards
  • 7,838 all-purpose yards
  • 22 touchdowns: 9 INT returns, 6 punt returns, 3 kickoff returns, 3 receiving, and 1 fumble recovery
  • 8 Pro Bowls

That’s absurd.  So what did “Neon Deion” have to say about being voted #34?

YESSSSS SIRRRRR!!! That ladies and gentlemen was an actual powder slap on live TV.  That was the end of the show too.  That meant he had that baby powder in the pocket of his civil rights suit Steve Harvey suit Choppa Suit during the ENTIRE show.  When the moment was right, he reached in there,  poured a generous amount of it in his hand, took his arm back to last Wednesday, and SLAPPED THE ISH OUT OF MARIUCCI.

I actually don’t even feel bad for the coach.  He’s the only CCA person of non-color on the set, so he should know what he could be getting himself into, ESPECIALLY, with Deion and Michael Irvin on the set together.  They are “barely” fit to be on TV by themselves (be it NFL Network), let alone with each other.  Some say they are the epitome of “folk.”  The “Where’s My Powder” question doesn’t even need to be asked…because it’s on Mariucci’s face.  Tahst.

-Hotdogs Anderson

Because all of us here at ATI have other jobs (a.k.a. Passion), we sometimes struggle to stay up to date/on top of things.  While we’ve definitely mentioned it a few times in other posts, we haven’t dedicate a full post to the the topic of Brett Favre’s sexting habits.

 

The perfect cellphone case for all you pervs out there

 

Well we still aren’t going to (taste it).  We will, however, let the Taiwanese news media keep you “abreast” of the situation:

HA!  They put him in the Doghouse with Tiger.

That’s probably the one thing that they got wrong.  They shouldn’t put them on the same level.  Brett lacked Swag and Game.  He doesn’t even have that Conviction Creepy Swag.  He just pulled the “naked man” from How I Met Your Mother via text.

Except that ish didn’t work!!! Tiger made ish happen; bad ish since he was married, but he made it happen.  Tiger’s batting percentage had to be like .920; Brett, if he was doing that kind of stuff his entire career, is probably batting .096.  That be a good ERA but parlaying the smash isn’t pitching.  You gotta bring out the lumber, bunt yourself on base, steal second, reach third on an error, and be safe at home on a sac fly and crush the long ball.  So let me reiterate what Grits said in his ACOTW-Jenn Sterger post yesterday:

The first and most important statement is not only to Brett Favre, but to all self respecting men out there: Don’t take pictures of your D piece, and if for some reason you do, Don’t send these pictures to ANYONE. Seriously, how are you gonna just be chilling there, with nothing on but a pair of crocs, and snap a picture of your flacid self?? THATS NOT OKAY! I’ll give points for supa ig’nance, but let’s go…you can look at it whenever you want, it’s hanging right there between your legs. And barring an extremely unfortunate act of God and/or science, it’s going to be there for a while. It’s not like your dick looks better on any given day…”Oh my sh*t is looking good today, lemme snap a quick pic and post it to my mobile uploads…” You sir, are an idiot.

-Hotdogs Anderson