Posts Tagged ‘Grits N Gravy’

“Grits and Gravy…killin the 2nd rate blog game right now, consistently playing both sides of the fence, battlin’ Passion, bringin’ heat when he can, and goin’ hard to the cup to get you through hump day…MAMA, THERE GO THAT MAN!”

That was actually a direct quote from Mark Jackson. The man clearly appreciates good banter. I appreciate the fact that he can bring educated ig’nance (guff, what?) to the court in the form of his NBA analysis. I actually am having a hard time in my daily life trying to not periodically exclaim, “MAMA THERE GOES THAT MAN” or “HAND DOWN MAN DOWN” whether it is appropriate or not. It may become a problem at some point. I’m cool with the president of my company, but I can’t just get up and yell “MAMA THERE GOES THAT MAN” when he strolls past my office to get some coffee can I? I mean even if he just chuckles and gives me the “I’m too rich to ask you what that means” look, he can’t feel comfortable with the fact that I am one of his employees. Similar inappropriate circumstance: If you’re a teacher and you call on the poor little sh@t who has his hand down, just because you want to humiliate him for not knowing the answer. “Manny, what’s 4X4??? Oh…judoknow? HAND DOWN MAN DOWN MANNY! IT’S 16! GET YOUR ARSE TO THE TUTOR!”

Basically I like the idea of giving a play by play to real life. If I could have Mark Jackson stroll behind me every day basically letting the people know all the cool ish I was doing, it would be pretty hilarious. Kind of like Cleotus’ personal midget that “pings” other employees around the office. Some scenarios might be strange, even though I would get a personal guff If Mark Jackson and Van Gundy waited outside the bathroom to give play by play to me doin’ work on the royal thrown….”Grits and Gravy…he had some loaded nachos earlier…2 hours later…in the bafroom…droppin it like its hot…he even brought the ESPN Magazine in there…MAMA… THERE GO THAT MAN!” My favorite is how at every commercial break in a game that he does, Mark will hit you with the recap of everything that happened. If Le’bron or Dirk or D Wade took over for that 4 minute segment of the game, he would basically hang from their nuts for a good 15 seconds leading into the commercial break. Like this clip about Kobe..

Guffaw, I mean I don’t care if you like the player or not…but Kobe can go watch this youtube video and basically sit back and be like Damn I guess I am a BAMF huh…If any normal Joe had a clip like this to go watch about himself it would solve the problem of depression in America. “Well Mark Jackson thinks I’m a bad man, he even told his mama about it…(sniff)…I guess I can step back from the ledge.” For people who already have really high self esteem, it would basically just reinforce how cool they think they are. Side public service announcement: F what you heard, and F what people think…If you are happy with yourself and think you are cool, you are…Right brotha?

 

There is too much Passion out there in the world to truly feel like your life is boring. I fancy myself quite the goon, but my lifestyle would only be supplemented by a personal reporter there to not only report the times when Passion is dropping it in my drawls, but when I’m really making plays. I guess my point is don’t be afraid to be your own commentator. Sure people may think you a bit strange, but eventually they will start to drink the Kool-Aid. If you decide to get some Post Work Casuals (PWCs) that somehow turn into PWA (Post Work Agressives), and you beat somebody in a chug, don’t be afraid to let out a “HAND DOWN. MAN DOWN” and bust the Dirk NBA Championship dance in their face.

 

GUFFAW!!

 

-Grits

YO EVERYONE! WE’LL BE BACK SOON!

NOW GO BE LIKE SHAWN MARION AND SLOW STROKE ONE OUT UNTIL WE GET MOTIVATED TO POST!

-G&G

“Ok, I’m goin’ iiiiiin. excuse my charisma, vodka with a spritza, swagga down pat, call that ish patricia!”

It’s Friday and ATI has yet again gone onto life support as Passion has been making every effort to next day air our respective drawls down to Hades. My new years resolution is to try and bring the heat to ATI (no village people) and keep Passion at a reasonable level. In honor of Friday, I gotta take this opportunity to congratulate everyone for making it through the first 5 day work week in a long damn time. Nobody works Friday afternoons, so if you get a chance to hit this dance with a special somebody at any time today…make sure that special somebody has some cheeks.

Perfect example of men really enjoying the female caboose. They want to initiate contact with every part of their body. Can’t be mad at ’em…but shame on you for filming it and letting Grits capture your superior display of ig’nance. Shout out to Stosh for the look.

Happy Friday.

Grits

Really?

Posted: October 19, 2010 by Grits N Gravy in You're Better Than That
Tags: , , , ,

Let’s Go…

Happy Monday errbody. I know that it’s harder for us to find happiness on Monday than it is for Serena William’s swimsuit to survive her butt cheeks…but I’ve got something to at least keep us afloat. This Monday’s Passion remedy comes in the form of some of the most soulful cats to ever pick up a microphone. Kenny Loggins, Michael McDonald, Daryl Hall, and John Oates were bringin’ the heat back in the 80s. Some of our lighter friends, myself included, may damn well have been conceived to their smooth grooves. I know these old CCAs guys don’t look it, but they influenced some R&B legends including the late great Michael Jackson.

The first jam is by Mr. Loggins. Now Kenny’s decadence can certainly be called into question when he went in on the footloose soundtrack, or when his song was the theme for the Top Gun volleyball scene…but “This is it” is a smooth track that features our boy Michael McDonald on the background vocals. The song is pretty powerful, Kenny is basically breaking it down to his woman. Sounds like they’ve been havin’ some trouble…and it’s at that pivotal point where you need to let each other go, or stand up and fight. Pay attention to the 1:10 mark where ish gets real. Enjoy…

Chuch, and this video was posted by TheEbonyLounge, “where the music is ALL LOVE”

Our next artist is white in the same way that Larry Bird was white. They just did things like they should be brothers. You may recognize Michael McDonald from those turrible MCI commercials where he was singing the Motown hit “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”. This dude played with several 70s/80s groups like the Doobie Brothers, Steely Dan, and of course our boy Kenny Loggins. This jam, entitled “I keep forgettin'” is another classic story about how Mike can’t get his ex out of his mind. He sees her out, she’s lookin good, and he keeps forgetting how she kicked his ass to the curb. Anyway, you’ll definitely recognize the beat to this song.

For a synopsis of the song “Regulators” which featured this beat and was made popular by Warren G and Nate Dogg, please see Hotdogs Anderson’s post from a couple weeks back.

The last song I got for ya’ll is by the always popular Hall and Oates. I don’t understand why people hate on these two dudes, they were always bringing heat and really stood the test of time. Sure they looked decadent as the day is long, but their music spoke for itself. This song, “I Can’t Go For That” is pretty self explanatory. Its about a guy and a girl who are very much in love. Things are going well, the dude thinks he has a real catch until…she starts asking for illogical things. “Baby…why don’t you go shopping with me on Sunday??” when she knows damn well the game is on. “Baby…I think you should only go out 1 night a week for 1 hour with your goons” when she knows damn well you are dedicated to goonery and hamboozlery. “Baby…why don’t you let me stick my thumb in your 2’s??” when she knows damn well that…bahaha hopefully your girl never asks you for that type of ish, yikes. Anyway, sometimes you just can’t go for that…This video is fresh tho, real mysterious for the time…and the dude on the sax kills it. My only confusion is with :29…what is with the hand swiping chicanery? slightly treach.

Another notable slow jam from Hall and Oates is Sara Smile…which was re made pretty nicely by Boyz to Men. May have to relay this to Cleo for this week’s P Droppa. Damn Friday seems so far away. Fight the good friends…and if you question the soul of any of these gentlemen above…rest assured that they are indeed…

-Grits and Gravy

Alright…we’ve heard about it, we’ve read about, but I know we haven’t seen too much of this week’s ACOTW. Is this a completely predictably ACOTW? Yes. Does anybody care because we all wanna see more of this pretty little thing? Yes. Are we at ATI shamelessly trying to capture some website hits from hornballs looking for Jenn Sterger pics? Oh yes.

The ATI crew has been bantering, obviously, about the Brett Favre Jenn Sterger “scandal” and I have a few WTF questions/points. The first and most important statement is not only to Brett Favre, but to all self respecting men out there: Don’t take pictures of your D piece, and if for some reason you do, Don’t send these pictures to ANYONE. Seriously, how are you gonna just be chilling there, with nothing on but a pair of crocs, and snap a picture of your flacid self?? THATS NOT OKAY! I’ll give points for supa ig’nance, but let’s go…you can look at it whenever you want, it’s hanging right there between your legs. And barring an extremely unfortunate act of God and/or science, it’s going to be there for a while. It’s not like your dick looks better on any given day…”Oh my sh*t is looking good today, lemme snap a quick pic and post it to my mobile uploads..” You sir, are an idiot. I don’t even know why people call it a scandal anyway, Brett didn’t even g’i’nair. He, like most men out there, finds Ms. Sterger extremely attractive…so he tried to have sex with her. LOGIC. Whatever, let’s get into it already.

Lemme see if I remember how to do this. Ahh yes, face. Jenn Sterger’s face is really attractive. She’s a tan white girl with some attitude and a face that says, “Let’s talk football, then let’s talk about how good looking I am, then let’s talk about you sending me a picture of your hang dang…”

I’m gonna go ahead and give her a solid 8 on the face game, she’s bringin’ heat with those eyes and soft features(soft features is a nonsensical term we throw around that essentially means she’s easy to look at).

Next up we have the binary. A quick shot to refresh your memory of what we’re working with…

well…I don’t know, maybe another angle?

Ok, I guess I’ll give her a 1. Goodness gracious. Alright now, on to category #3: body. I can’t imagine dear old Jenny would score that high in this category, God bless her, but let’s examine.

PAGAGAGAGAGA hooray for me billy! Jenn is working with a pretty serious stomach game, and she is clearly all set with her J game. I’m sure those sweater cows are harder than a marble counter top, but I’m not going to sit here and hate on a girl who is simply trying to enhance her assets and jump a couple rounds in the draft. The girl obviously stays in shape, you can tell by the lean and athletic build. Jenny’s friends are early round pics as well, gotta love a group of females that just roll out to a club in some swimsuits. One more pic for good measure…

Wapap! Jenn’s tail is what you would expect, very on par with the rest of her body. It’s not going to blow you away like her girl in the middle(DAMN), but it’s definitely there…and it’s definitely very nice. I mean i’m not quite sure what else to say other than I like looking at it. For the final number I’m going with a 7.

Every man, at least every happily single man, can and should pursue a 817 as fine as Jenn Sterger…so I can’t really hate on Favre. At the end of the day, it would be very tough to refuse her a dong shot if you knew it would pay dividends. Sad but true…sometimes it’s necessary to get a little freaky via your mobile device. What’s the worst that could happen?

Oh yea…my bad Eldrick.

What do y’all think?

Payday tomorrow, IM RIIICH BIITCH

-Grits

I personally think that good Banter is better than a good Lil Wayne song. What do you think Drake??

Guffaw…so decadent.

-Grits