Posts Tagged ‘Kim Kardashian’

Hmmmmm, that ain't Tiger's Ex-wife...

Let’s wager some guesses:

So Tigerhoe #11 (or #12, or #13, 0r #24; who knows) / porn star Devon James is attempting to sell a sex tape featuring Eldrick, herself, and a “3rd party.”

Apparently she’s shopping it to Vivid today.  What is her asking price???

$350,000

GOOD LAWD THAT’S A LOT OF MONEY!!!

In the words of Cleo, “Tiger paid off the wrong hoes.  Let’s goooo Woods.  Pay off the chick that got you on tape doing dirty ish!”  This chick had the nerve to say

If Vivid won’t pay enough, we’re going to self-release the tape… It’s going to be the bomb.

The BOMB?  Bish this ain’t 1995.  No one is rocking Saucony’s and Girbaud jeans.  She also said this of the tape:

The tape is 62 minutes long and 37 minutes of it is us having sex.

What the hell are ya’ll doing the other 25 minutes???  Is Tiger teaching you how to putt?  Is it a conversation between the two of you about his red shirts on Sundays?  Or is it something really dirty like some R. Kelly ish?

Either way Tiger, you best throw this chick an a$$load of money so this tape doesn’t see the light of day.  Because if it does, say goodbye to EVERY sponsor you have.

-Hotdogs Anderson

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I Believe This Is A Downgrade Folks/ACOTW

Posted: April 14, 2010 by Cleotus Jenkins aka the Slow Stroka in Area Codes
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Just read that Reggie Bush got him a new ol lady these days. Apparently he was in Vegas to watch his new chick Jessie James perform:

Yeah she’s a country singer of sorts. Not sure what happened between Reggie and my girl Kimmy K but I consider this a step back. Guy just won the Super Bowl. He should be doing work all over. He with this new chick when he could be boinking this brick house:

Ooops. I just soiled my pants. Damn Kim. I love you. I would never break up with you. You could slap me around.

SIKE. I wish she would try to slap me.

So I’m going to try to see things from Reginald’s perspective> Yep it’s time for Area Code of the Week.

1. Face

I ain’t gonna lie, she skraight in the face region. That’s a 7.

2. Binary scale

No pic needed. Yall know the answer. That’s a fat ass yes. My standards are lower than the bottom of a bottomless pit. Hell, I’ll take this:

3. ASSets

HMMM something tells me she’s a tight package but gots zero ass:

Aiight she got nice breassisses. I’ll give her a 6.

She still doesn’t drop it off like Kim, but I like how Reggie is testing out all the areas of entertainment.  What do ya’ll think?

-ya boy stroka

P Droppa Friday

Posted: October 30, 2009 by Cleotus Jenkins aka the Slow Stroka in Musical Knowledge
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OHHHHHHHHHH It’s Halloween weekend. It’s the day that gives women all over the place an excuse to dress like skeezers. Such a glorious day. Ladies please take advantage. Matter of fact, I hope I meet women that have no panties on. Might not even need my own P Droppa joint.

stone rose halloween party 311008

Christ almighty. I would drink her bath water after she’s played two games of tennis.

Ok not every joint on Friday is going to be R&B. Sometimes we gots to drop a rap song for the weekend. I got “Hey Lover” by LL Cool J featuring Boyz II Men. Not going to lie, LL brought it on this one. Guy shows us how to swoop in on another man’s woman. The second verse let us know that LL is a straight up freak.

“You can’t stop me, from having daydreams. Tonguing you down with “huh” vanilla ice cream.”

The combination of Mr. Smith and Boyz II Men is a blueprint of how a rap/R&B collabo should sound. Oh the chick in the video could it.

Why is ol boy from Boyz II Men wearing a hockey jersey? Why was the one pants leg up ever popular?

Ok I’m going to leave yall with another Kim shot:

Kim

Man oh Man.

Be safe this weekend. Get grimy with it but remember to wrap it up fellas. Like Weezy said:

“Better wear that latex. Cuz you don’t want that late text. That ‘I think I’m late’ text.”

AND LADIES….STOP FRONTING….YOU KNOW YOU WANT US TO GET IN…. THAT’S WHY YOU ARE WEARING THAT NASTY ASS COSTUME…..LG

-Dr. Stroka