Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

Hopefully you know this by now, but Alicia Keys “stole” away Mashonda’s man, Swizz Beatz.  Mashonda got a little upset and wrote an open letter to Alicia.  Looks like we might have a sequel with new co-stars.  Apparently Gabby Union’s sexy a$$ was the reason Dwayne Wade and his wife are getting divorced.  Let’s just take a quick peek at Gabby:

DAMN, DAMN, DAMN JAMES… We are not done looking at her yet though:

Yeah, she’s nice, REAL nice.  But looking at these pics of her has gotten me off topic.  Instead of a letter like Mashonda, DWade’s wife, Siovaughn, is suing Gabby for basically breaking up their marriage.  But that’s just the beginning.  Apparently, the two were getting a little too hot and heavy in front of the kids:

It alleges Union “engaged in sexual foreplay” in front of the boys, which “severely inflicted the Plaintiffs emotionally and mentally.” It also claims that the boys received “medium size gifts” from Dwyane Wade for Christmas last year, while Union got “the biggest gift of all.”

Ooohhh jealousy.  I think we know what the “biggest gift of all” means (NHND).  She wants $50,000 in damages too.  WHAT?!?  I mean come on Siovaughn, in the society we are in now, you ONLY want $50,000???  SHE STOLE YOUR MAN AND WAS PUTTING IN WORK IN FRONT YO’ KIDS!!! OK, that’s enough defense of the former Mrs. Wade.

Now let’s look at this from the man’s (Dwade’s) perspective.  You are going from this:

How old are you?

To this:

Taste it

I think all of us at ATI can see Dwade’s thopro (thought process…get behind it) on this one.  By the way, anyone think that Gabby and Alicia are pretty good friends?

-Hotdogs Anderson

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Terribleness – The-Dream

Posted: December 14, 2009 by Cleotus Jenkins aka the Slow Stroka in Generic Banter
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So Christina Milian and The Dream had another wedding recently. This time in Rome. I heard it was a lovely ceremony. A photo has surfaced.

Wait, is the Dream wearing a cut-off tux? Are those leggings? I cannot condone such attire. What is wrong with these rich folk. You should dress like a black Napoleon exactly ZERO times in your life. It’s obvious that he didn’t want to wear that outfit. Look at ya boy’s face. He’s thinking, “Yeah I look like a clown but look at my ol lady.”. Ok let’s do that:

Good lawd. Solid work Dream. Did Nick Cannon make the right choice? Mariah got the scrill but damn X-Tina brings heat.

-Cleez

Damn Bruh

Posted: October 30, 2009 by Cleotus Jenkins aka the Slow Stroka in Area Codes, Generic Banter
Tags: , , , , ,

This ain’t right:

Best parts of the clip were Tracy McGrady laughing, the announcers trying to back track their comments and the mascot walking him off the court. You can even hear the crowd laughing. I actually feel sorry for this lad. This chick made him look like a straight up chump in a sold out arena. She could have said yes then dump him at a later date. I guess it’s decent of her not to say yes then snatch up the ring. From what I hear, women don’t return those. I wonder how he was able to arrange that. Either he has major scrill or he’s got pull in Houston. I see a few flaws in his logic:

1. He decided to propose at an NBA game. You have to protect yourself from embarrassment homey. Women today are ruthless. He looked more like a fool than she like a scallywag. You should only do that in front of family or in private. I wouldn’t do it in front of family either. I know my family would clown my ass.

2. He decided to propose.

3. He wanted to get married.

Hold up. Ain’t you supposed to go ring shopping with a friend of your woman? That friend is a scallywag. She should have done something to halt this nonsense. Pam would’ve stopped Martin if Gina REALLY didn’t want to marry him.

At first glance, ya girl looked like a 414. Slightly below average face and figure. But when she ran off the court, I can see she was working with something. She can get a 416 from Cleo.

I hope the fallen soldier got to take down one of those cheerleaders.

-Cleo

How was your….

AHNTTTTTTTTTT. People don’t care how your weekend was, your break was, your summer was, your vacation was, hell people don’t even care how your day was.  So don’t ask them how theirs was.  Yes, this is a generic thing to say to be polite when there is nothing else to say, well guess what, if there’s nothing to say how about you just don’t say anything at all.  The sad part is that though some folks do this as a polite gesture. Breaking news: This is not polite at all. Why? Because you are increasing the passion of another human being and increasing someone else’s passion is never ever ever alright.

Here is a typical situation people clearly hate, almost as much as going to class in college: It’s the third day of school, your walking down the street and you see someone you lived with freshman year.  You don’t really talk to this person anymore, but you at least need to say hi.  In the back of your mind you know you don’t want to stop, but you know they probably will so you spend the next 10 seconds trying to decide what you can do about the situation, you guys finally meet and as you thought he comes to a stop.

Friend: Whats up
You: Whats going dude(as you are backing away slowly , trying to signal you just wanted to say “hi” quickly)
Friend: Not much not much, how was your summer
You: (cringe on the inside because you knew this would happen and don’t have the desire or time to tell him how you hooked up with multiple females and drank a lot of alchohol, often ending in blacking out, so you give a generic answer) It was good it was good, Later.

Then you walk away, leaving the person dazed and confused as to what exactly just happened, but you didn’t leave enough of an imprint that they’ll actually remember. In college especially at a small school one can get at least a range of how good/great another’s weekend could have been given the activities of said weekend, plus you may very well have been part of it(if you were as awesome in college as we were then you were probably a part of anything fun). So you know nothing of substance will be shared by this person, so you ninja out of this senseless convo. Yes, this move was perfected while in college, unfortunately translating it into the working world is far more difficult.

The worst part about this awkward/needless interaction in the work place is that some people only ask so they can tell you about their own (blank). These quite possibly may be the worst group of people on the planet and they are near impossible to avoid because like passion, they are everywheeeeerrreeeeee. Whats awful is that in most cases the (blank) they had was not crazy, fun, exciting, interesting, or worthy of reliving in any way. Instead all you get is the aggressively long story that ends with the person saying some generic phrase at the end; I guess you had to be there, it was so crazy, etc.  If someone actually cared how your (blank) was, then the would already know, and you would already know how theirs was too.  Why? Because some sort of communication would have already been had.

What makes this offense so egregious is that in the real world everyone is doing their own thing and sadly most working Americans are a pathetic shell of their former FUN self and need to make their boring uneventful (blank) sound better than it actually is because it’s the only way they can sleep at night after realizing they are married with two kids and their life is over.  One can often get caught in the awkward “how was your weekend conversation” with co workers, usually in the kitchen or by the copy machine. I mean wtf, is a person going to respond “it was great I got osmosified, and took some random girl home”, “I drank 40 – 50 Adult beverages and passed out naked face down palms up on my floor”? NO, your going to give a generic response, “good” and then not ask how theirs was.  Because neither party actually cares. Why ask questions to which you don’t care about the answer? It must be passion shapeshifting into one of its many forms

This needs to stop no one really cares about your (blank) so keep it to yourself unless it genuinely comes up in casual convo. Don’t increase already HIGH Work, OCBP, Life, Etc passion by telling folks about your trip to Staten Island (nothing eventful happening), visit to your sister’s (again nothing eventful), movie you saw (generic activity), and so on and so on. Be a GUY not a guy, help in the fighting of passion don’t be one who increases it

Ya Boys
Logic and Reason

PLEASE NOTE: This was a dual post containing the logic of Logic and the reason of Reason. If you disagree, you are clearly illogical or unreasonable.