Posts Tagged ‘Track’

It’s always dark somewhere! Ya heard.

Hope everyone is recovering from “Tell Great Britain to Tahst it” Day.   This week we are going to take a look at something different for MTK.   We had singers and actresses so far…so this week we are going with athletes.   There is a lot of hidden talent out there in the world of sports.   Every now and then you’ll see some chick who golfs, plays professional volleyball, or is a track star get some recognition for being well smashable but certainly not enough.

So let’s take a look at three lovely ladies of professional sports:

Lolo Jones – Professional Track Star


Yes sir!  Lolo fo sho sho.  This chick is way faster than me anyway so ain’t no reason in running if she’s chasing…and the ladies chase Darkne$$.  Lolo is a decorated track athlete and fine as a ticket on the dash.  This is a no brainer…sure a track career isn’t long and is very dependent on being healthy (so I can’t be putting her in the pretzel) but she has them good genes.  With my Darkne$$ and her athleticism we are bound to have a lil LeBron.   Also track athletes are muscular but not so much that you feel like the woman in the relationship.  Plus she got that good hair….our kids will come out looking like Jaden Smith.   I teach Lo Lo how to get  low low.

Misty May-Treanor/Kerri Walsh – Professional Beach Volleyball Players


I can hear the followers now…”but Darkne$$ how are you going to pick two chicks to tap?”.  Simple…they go hand and hand.  You can’t have one without the other.   I don’t know if you can even find a picture with just one of them without the other (GOE).  My guess is that if you got one of them willing to attend the meeting in the bedroom then the other will follow.   Volleyball chicks have also been deceptively hot.  With their long legs and lean torsos and ability to handle balls.  But put them on the sand in bikinis and BOOM!  This sport was definitely invented by a man.    Man can you imagine letting them volley your balls and serve you on the tempurpedic?   Not to mention that they have a couple of gold medals so they like to the be the best AT EVERYTHING!    It looks like Misty may be draggin wagon in that pic above.    I know double tapping is illgal in volleyball but I think they’ll make an exception for Darkne$$.

Candice Parker-Williams – Professional Woman’s Basketball Player


Candice Parker would not fall into this category but Candice Parker-Williams does.   I was deeply infatuated with her when she was dominating lesser broads at Tennessee.  But then she goes and marries Sheldon Williams! WHAT? And if that isn’t devastating enough they went ahead and procreated.   WHY CANDICE???  Your husband looks like E.T. and your child will most likely look like a gremlin.  Yes she is a beautiful red boned specimen that would probably shoot out a whole basketball team but…I can’t condone marrying so far beneath you.   Sheldon Williams played at Duke – FAIL.  Your brother, Anthony Parker, is one of the reasons LeBron is prob leaving Cleveland – FAIL.  You play for the WNBA and make a whopping $65,000 a year – FAIL.   You could have had Darkne$$ baby…you failed.  You are the weakest link…GOODBYE!

Darkne$$ aka McThuggin’


So, Melaine Walker, you just won the 400M hurdles in at the World Track and Field Championship, you are looking to celebrate right?  OOOOOH LOOKIE HERE…IT’S BERLINO THE TRACK MEET MASCOT! He has something for you…it’s a first place SERVICE!

Melaine Walker (who is holding to christmas hams in her shorts btw) decides to trust the seemingly friendly mascot Berlino and take him up on a victory lap via piggy back ride.  This had disaster written all over it from the start like that horrible show Chocolate News on Comedy Central.

Melaine unexpectedly climbs onto said mascot and the rest is ignant history.


Excuse me Berlino but did you not know to watch were you are going?  You are carrying a world class a$$….I mean athlete and you run into a cart full speed.  I hope Berlino isn’t a dude underneath that Bear Costume because he just took one right to the twig and berries!  He bounced up like a champ tho which is good because no one like a crying mascot.  Berlino…your new name is Servido the Severe Service Bear.

Darkne$$ aka Insane Bolt


Check out Berlino trying to get some love from the Jamaicans after the incident…One serving deserves another….ha.